“Beyond Discipline: The Lasting Impact of Parental Actions on a Child’s Life”

Title: Lessons Learned: A Parent’s Response to Childhood Misbehavior

As a parent, encountering moments of misbehavior in our children can be challenging. One such occasion arose when I discovered my child stealing meat from the pot of soup. This incident prompted a journey of reflection, learning, and growth for both my child and me.

In that moment of discovery, anger and frustration surged within me. My immediate reaction was to lash out, and I instinctively reached for the nearest object—a large soup ladle—and struck my child. However, in the aftermath of the altercation, I realized that my response was driven by emotion rather than reason.

As my child fled to seek refuge at a neighbor’s house, I grappled with a mix of emotions—anger, disappointment, and concern for my child’s well-being. Upon my husband’s return from work, I disclosed the incident, and together we deliberated on an appropriate course of action.

Summoning our child, my husband administered a punishment, albeit one that left our child in tears and trembling. Yet, even as the immediate consequences were meted out, I couldn’t shake off a lingering sense of dissatisfaction. Sending our child to bed hungry felt like an incomplete resolution to the issue at hand.

Thus, in the dead of night, I revisited the matter. Armed with a turning stick and my husband’s leather belt, I administered further punishment. However, in the cold light of dawn, as I watched my child sleep, remorse crept in. Had I gone too far? Had my actions scarred my child irreparably?

Morning brought with it a facade of forgiveness. I played the role of the benevolent parent, admonishing my child gently, feeding him, and preparing his lunch. As I offered to walk him to school, my child’s relief was palpable. Yet, unbeknownst to him, another chapter of this ordeal awaited.

Approaching his teacher, I recounted the incident in dramatic detail, seeking validation and further retribution. The teacher, promising disciplinary action, convened an assembly where my child was publicly flogged before his peers—friends, crush, and admirers alike.

The repercussions were swift and severe. My child became a pariah at school, ostracized by former friends and subjected to ridicule and mockery. The stigma attached to his actions followed him like a shadow, eroding his self-esteem and leaving him emotionally distant.

Over the years, the scars of that fateful day persisted. Attempts at reunion and reconciliation were thwarted by the specter of past shame. Even as my child graduated from university and pursued his dreams, the echoes of that childhood transgression haunted him.

A chance encounter with an ex-schoolmate, now married to a prospective employer, sealed his fate. Painted in the colors of past misdeeds, my child’s aspirations were dashed by a single conversation, forever tainted by the shadows of his youth.

Reflecting on this journey, I am confronted with the sobering reality of my actions. What began as an attempt to discipline my child spiraled into a cycle of shame and suffering, leaving scars that time alone cannot heal.

In hindsight, I realize the folly of my ways. My desire to teach a lesson overshadowed the need for compassion and understanding. Instead of fostering growth and resilience, I inadvertently sowed seeds of resentment and mistrust.

To my fellow parents, I offer a cautionary tale. Discipline is not synonymous with public humiliation. Our children are not vessels for our vindication but individuals deserving of dignity and respect.

As we navigate the complexities of parenthood, let us temper justice with mercy, and discipline with love. For in the crucible of compassion, true growth and healing can flourish, paving the way for a brighter future—one where the mistakes of the past need not define us.

You were so enraged that you hit him with the big soup laddle. He escaped and sought refuge from your wrath at a neighbor’s place.

You reported him to your husband when he got back from work. He summoned the child and gave him a punishment. He released him after minutes of messy tears and trembling legs.

You didn’t give him dinner, you sent the boy to bed hungry.

Yet, you were not satisfied. You woke him up in the middle of the night and delt with him further. Your turning stick and his father’s leather belt aided you in melting out the punishment.

In the morning, you acted as if you had forgiven him. You admonished him, fed him, packed his lunch, and offered to walk him to school. The child was relieved, happy even that he was now forgiven. Only for you to approach his teacher and narrate what he did, with dramatic details.

The teacher promised to discipline him adequately, and so, after you went back home, your child was called out on the assembly and flogged before the students populace, including his friends, his crush, and those who looked up to him.
Those who missed the assembly heard the exaggerated version of the story. Everyone laughed at your child, including the boy who stole from his parents on a daily basis, and even the one who picked pockets in the market. Nobody laughed at those ones because their mothers did not bring their matters to the school.

Your child soon became lonely at school. His friends didn’t want him any more because of the stigma. They wouldn’t pick him for any football game or allow him into any clubs. He developed self-esteem issues.

Your child grew up emotionally distant from you, he could not bring himself to open up to you no matter what he went through, because he never forgot what you did the last time he made a mistake.
Now, you wonder why your own child wouldn’t confide in you. That’s right, because you will make it the topic of discussion at your next woman’s meeting.

Ten years down the line, someone created a whatsapp group of his school mates set. Your child was added to the group and he joined with the hope of reuniting, but left when he found a meme making a joke about his past. Even though it was just a joke, he couldn’t stand it because he already had internal issues. He couldn’t bear to show his face at the reunion ceremony.

Your child graduated from the university and applied for his dream job. He passed the first three stages of the application and was invited for the interview.

He left the interview, hopeful to be called back for the job. Only for him to run into one of his ex-schoolmates after the interview. He greeted her hastily and hurried away.

But it was too late as the lady happened to be the wife of the boss who interviewed him and he had already saw them exchanging greetings. He asked his wife about your child and she went ahead to paint an ugly picture of what happened ten years ago.

“Ahhn, that boy was a bandit of sort. He used to terrorize his neighborhood with his stealing antics, everyone knew him both at home and in school.” That was all the boss needed to make a decision among the many competitive applicants.

Even though it has been several years already, you have even forgotten about the incidence, your child is still suffering from the consequences.
Your child hasn’t stolen a single item since that meat, but the stigma had evolved with him and only grown bigger around his existence.

Before you expose your child’s misdeed at his school or Islamiyah, please ask yourself if you would do the same if he had exhibited a pleasant behavior.

Revealing what your child did at home in public is embarrassment, not discipline.

Dear parents, please don’t embarrass your children, it may scar them for a lifetime.